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Deep in a cave or illustrious on a mountain, in Pakistan or Afghanistan, Tajikistan, Uzbekistan or, maybe, sunning on the French Riviera, is a seething Osama bin Laden.

"Infidels!" he screamed to his adjutant.

"Yes," said the Aide reassuringly, "that is truly what the Great Satan is."

"How dare them!" stammered the capitalist and modernizer of al-Qaeda.

"What is it this time?" asked the Aide. "Did they seizure one of our one thousand excessive and storied law officer leaders? Did they soften the terror campaign after-school of Baghdad?"

"Worse! They ready-made Bush Number 1!" He looked straight at his Aide. "Do you cognize how shameful that is?!"

"I do not understand, Oh Great and Wonderful Courier of Absolute Wisdom."

"Bush!" aforesaid bin Laden, sputtering out the speech. "He's the supreme despised man in America." The Aide tested his high-grade to repress a laugh, but a chuckle larboard his dried maw. "Do not tease me, you son of a camel driver," aforementioned bin Laden who inverted his computer blind to his Aide. "There!" he commanded. "Seek desirability through with your own persuasion." And there, previously the Aide was the up-to-the-minute AP-AOL survey. One-fourth of all Americans proclaimed that George W. Bush is the Biggest Villain of 2006. Osama bin Laden was far behind, near only 8 per centum of the option. "Four modern world worse than me!" same bin Laden, well-nigh disorder on his language.

"But, Oh Mighty Force For Dissolving the Social Order, you have launched wars. You have brought in the order of fright. You have unnoticed human rights and sliced the documentary laws of much than two centuries. You unsocial have fixed new interpretations to our Holy Book."

"And so has that Sand Flea Upon a Camel's Ass," same bin Laden, "and he's through with it iv contemporary world better."

"But you have been able to do it short a grasp corps regurgitating your propaganda. You know how the media always expand someone's charge." It didn't aid.

"I was once the supreme required man in the world," said bin Laden. That Dung Beetle on the Droppings from a Bloated Goat put 10,000 of his personnel into Afghanistan. He same he'd william holman hunt me behind and take me before his witch trials." Bin Laden wiped a miniscule cleave. "But then he exchanged his mind, put his own weaponry of general annihilation into Iraq and forgot going on for me. It's as if I don't entity."

"Please do not cry," same the Aide, "by invading Iraq, he agaze a new arrive where you could let go your terror!"

"Bush! It's e'er Bush! You don't regard as I could have away into Iraq if I welcome to, killed Saddam, and ready-made the worldwide uninjured for coercion without Bush?! Is that what you think?"

"Never in a m years, Almighty Benefactor of the Weak and Poor. I would ne'er knock you. Please don't take out me. Saddam unbroken you out, but merely because you allowed it. If you sought-after to go to Iraq, you would have absent here drawn-out previously the Great Satan welcome our illustrious alteration to do battle, and we would have been the first to tear down the 3,000 time period customs of that terrain."

"Praise Allah! Allah is near us! Allah Bless al-Qaeda!"

"That's the spirit," same the Aide. Here's even better-quality communication. The American With the Constant Smirk is as well the supreme praised American."

"Do you rob me for a fool!?" thundered bin Laden. "I can publication and canvas applied mathematics well again than that Fool of a Mixed Malaprop. Only 13 proportionality of Americans say he's the Biggest Hero of 2006. That's only partly of all who say he's the Biggest Villain."

"That shows you how cockeyed those Americans are," aforementioned the Aide. "He creates a war-and that is good-but he stays down the battle, approaching he ever has done, and while his force are perspiring and dying, piece they're feeding condensed sand, he's in an air-conditioned subverter in Texas and eating barbequed sorrowful doves, which he purely killed."

"He's even better-quality than me at sidesplitting birds of peace," same a lugubrious bin Laden.

"Mighty one, you have shown your government to spare the smallest of sparrows, as Allah has so ordered, patch actuation a warfare resistant the heretics."

"That is literal. And I should not bury that those ludicrous Americans not just ready-made their workers, the soldiers of the desert, individual the Number 2 Heroes, they . settled Oprah as the 3rd Biggest Hero!"

"That's the spirit, oh Wise and Noble Warrior. The Americans are cypher if not knee-deep."

Bin Laden once more looked at his Aide, a facial expression appear. "Bush may have helped create the worldwide uninjured for terrorism, but in two years, he will no longer be President, and I will again get the symbol of man the Worst Villain. Prepare for my enthronement."